Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Why did the turtle cross the road?

This turtle should be thankful.
I, however, am not thankful for this turtle. This turtle was saved by the one and only Lawnmower Man. In the words of Lawnmower Man, "the turtle darted into the street." Exact words: The turtle "darted" into the street. Lawnmower Man picked him up and carried him to the pond in our neighbor's backyard. I'm not really sure why we have an abundance of turtles in our street, but we do. I have saved several myself. If I don't pick them up they cause traffic jams in front of my house. I don't pick them up with my bare hands, I use a shovel to carry them to the pond. In the past this has not been a big deal. We are just doing our part to save the planet by saving turtles. But today, the turtle caused some problems...

I received a text message this morning from Lawnmower Man that read:

I have a broken L foot.

I wasn't surprised because on Thursday, Lawnmower Man called and told me that he broke his big toe. He was mowing the lawn , his foot fell in a hole, twisted and his toe bent backwards. I assumed that he went to the doctor today and found out that his broken toe was worse than he thought and was a broken foot. NO, that would be wrong. I called him and he said that his big right toe was broken but today he broke his left foot helping a turtle cross the road. On the way back from the pond....he didn't see a hole and again, broken appendage. It's a broken ankle to be exact.

I think we all know what this means...

1) Lawnmower Man can no longer go outside when I'm not home.

2) If Lawnmower Man can't mow the yard...this means...heaven help us...Big Nanny is about to become...Lawnmower Woman.

3) Lawnmower Man wants a bell so he can summon me for drink refills. If anyone gives him a bell...I will personally run over you with my lawnmower.

You might wonder why LM took a picture of the turtle. He thinks I've been a little short on blog material lately and likes to help me out with potential blog stories.

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9 comments:

Tammy said...

Hey, I take whatever help I can get on my blog.

Poor guy. You are right on grounding him from the great outdoors. Just have Teresa send Handiman over to cut your grass. Wait, maybe not....

NC said...

Um, I really don't even have words for this. This might be my all time favorite Big Nanny post ever. I am really not laughing. :)

Erin said...

Wow. It's a good thing "growing season" is almost over! That grass may only need to be mowed a few more times.
You couldn't have made up a better blog story!

Ashley said...

SERIOUSLY???

What's up with people falling in holes in CS??? I have one in my yard that is about to do the same thing to me...

Tell him you were born a bell you don't need one =)

Teresa said...

Poor Lawnmower Man! And I will buy you a year's supply of swiss cake rolls if you will wear the coveralls while mowing the lawn. Please?!!?!?!?

Anonymous said...

No way, I am croaking! I hope you have a cute hat Big Nanny. ceu

Mamaw said...

OOPS! Teresa forgot WINGTIPS to go with the coveralls and a white shirt do you need DAD to give you some pointers just don't preach as you mow. Tell lawnmower man those holes and steps are hard on us people and that I've seen the SLOWSKIES on tv and they don't DART anywhere. Maybe LMM needs a new name THE SLOWKIE for a while.To bad MN and JB left you hangin.So LMM my advise is to keep close to bathrooms but then I forgot your THE SLOWKIE now.Love you ANGIE and JB OH if LMM man needs a BELL I'm free.

Me said...

You know...turtles taste like chicken. One way to cut down on the turtle population is....well, nevermind.

-Shawn

CEU said...

Maybe future turtles could go to college?!