Thursday, February 17, 2011

The Office: Inter-Office Memo

Way back in thee olden days I used to work in a corporate office, and we had what was called an inter-office memorandum. Hold still if you're under 30 because this is going to rock your world...we didn't have email! We had a handy-dandy manila envelope that had a note inside and lines on the outside of it and you would sign it when you read the material. This would let the originator of said memo know that you had read the material and it was now your responsibility to pass it to the next person. It was like tag and it required us to get up out of our cushy office chairs. The great thing about the inter-office memo was that no one could reply all. You couldn't reply anything. You had to keep your snarky comments to yourself.

I now work in the technical world of email and countless reply all emails. We can put just about anything out there on the "all staff" email for everyone to read. We get many announcements and requests in the "all staff" email box. Here is my most recent favorite "all staff" email from the local senior pastor...

Subject: SUV

Hey gang,
I am looking for a full size suv. Most likely a chevy or gmc. 4 wheel drive. Something along the line of suburban or tahoe. I would love the quad seating (buckets in the middle row). Preferably one in mint condition driven only to church and Kroger by a little ole lady. Somewhere in the year model 2004 to 2006 or a really really clean 03. Under a 100k miles. If you see one for sale on the side of the road in front of the nursing home or something please let me know. Thanks.

So if you just so happen to find out about a Tahoe or Suburban driven by a little ole lady (because all the grannies are driving Tahoes these days) or see one sitting in front of the nursing home (because I'm sure the nursing homes allow their patients to pull up their old Suburban and put a for sale sign on it out in the parking lot.) let me know and I'll send out an "all staff" email.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Taking Care of Business

On my recent trip to Africa I found myself in one of the most glorious places on earth...BUSINESS CLASS!

Yes, I got bumped up to business class because I had the good sense to have my friend/former teacher, Anita, who has some kind of gold/platinum/diamond member status at Lufthansa Airlines join me on this trip. She just flashed her shiny membership card, and I suddenly found myself on lifestyles of the rich and famous. For all of you little people that didn't get to sit on my side of the curtain, let me give you a little peek into my world...

Check out all that beautiful leg room footage! I could have planted a garden on that row. I'm not going to mention any names but a certain mission's pastor had to sit in coach across from a puking child during this time.

This is my slightly medicated self in the seat that reclines out to make a bed. It was during this time that we had a two hour delay that I didn't even notice. (That's just funny because I have some issues with patience. At one point during this trip, one of my friends asked me if I had read my Bible yet that day because I was being so impatient over getting a Pepsi. Just for the record, I was really tired, cranky and thirsty that day.)

The meals in business class are fancy too. Everything comes on glass plates and you get real silverware. No boxed meals for me and no plastic wrappers to open. I wasn't crazy about this fancy salad but that pat of real butter for my bread made up for it. No chemical laden margarine products for me. I like my butter, and I like it real.

This is Anita. Anita brings the funny wherever she goes. She quickly found out that I just didn't take her to Africa, I took her to secret fat camp. Thanks for going to Africa with me and thanks for taking me to the land of reclining seats and leg room!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Teenage Tuesday, Hellister

There is a place in this world that no mother in her right mind wants to go. A place of torment. It is loud there and no one wants to help you. This place is in the mall. Some call it...

I call it Hellister.

My 13 year old daughter requested a sweater for Christmas from this institution of snobbery and mediocre teenage sportswear. I had been to this store before and knew that going to this place alone was not an option especially during the holiday season so I brought some supportive friends with me. All of these people had preschool children and had no idea how bad this place was going to be.

I walked into the store and made my first move...

I asked for help. Something so simple but so difficult to get. At one point, I had to give the boy the hand. Like a hand wave with a hey could you help me look. Because no one offers you help there. Or maybe they don't offer help to anyone over 30, I'm not sure.

My second move...

I asked for the "navy" sweater that was on the display. Not gonna happen. They will not sell you an item that is on a display. Obviously, the economy is not that bad if they won't sell you the item that you need.

My third move...

I saw a table of black sweaters and asked if they had anymore of the same sweater in navy? She told me the sweater I was holding was navy and not black. I looked at it and said are you sure? It looks black? (Note to self: do not question sales associates.) I was immediately given a look of disgust and ignorance when the teen sales associate told me, "We don't sell anything black in this store; it is navy."

You might think this would deter me from buying said sweater from snobby establishment. Nope, I'm willing to suffer through Hellister to get daughter her navy (it can't be black!) sweater.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Mission Monday, Ordinary Hero

Ordinary Hero is a great Nashville non-profit organization that does child and orphan advocacy around the world. Their motto is change the world for one. They were a huge help in finding sponsors to get our Project 61 kids out of the dump and into boarding school. You can click on this link and check out their website here: Ordinary Hero. They also have a list of children on their website waiting to be adopted.

My friend Avery is participating in their shirt design contest. They are creating a new children's shirt and letting a child design it. Here is Avery's design...

You can click on his picture and it will take you to the Ordinary Hero Blog so you can look at all the pictures and vote for Avery. You need to go today and place #27 Avery in the comment section. Or you can click here Ordinary Hero Blog.

I might have to get this shirt while I'm over there voting :)