Monday, February 16, 2009

Let's Get Our Shower On...

It was just a few short months ago that I tipped you off to one of the young mommy mafia organizations that’s known as the hair bow mafia, but now it’s time I tell you about the big southern mommy mafia organization that is steeped in tradition and is one of the most powerful organizations within the young mommy mafia…

The Baby Shower Mafia

First of all, some of you may wonder what makes me an expert on such a subject as baby showers? I mean, you’re right, I only have two children so what would I know about baby showers??? And here is the answer…

I go to a lot of baby showers!!!

Over the last five years I have attended countless baby showers… Dare I say hundreds? I attended three baby showers just during the month of September, and I’m having what I call a slow baby shower year. My chicken salad and butter mint intake is at an all time low. So I will now share with you a few rules of the Baby Shower Mafia...

1. A Baby Shower Mafia Member must have a cabinet full of crystal and porcelain serve ware in various heights and widths. Exhibit A...




2. A Baby Shower Mafia Member has a closet full of decorative props in the colors of blue and pink. Please don't tell the mafia member that is hosting your shower that you are not finding out the sex of your baby because they will be so. put. out. with. you. BSMM's do not have a box of yellow or green props...it's in the handbook.

3. A Baby Shower Mafia Member knows where to buy the best cake in town. If you are not a BSMM and you offer to buy the cake to bring to a shower there will be all sorts of interrogating questions about where you will buy the cake. Exhibit B...



This was the cake that I brought to a shower a few months back. When I offered to bring the cake all sorts of questions were sent my way such as...where? Target. Target? are you sure? yes, they make great cakes. really, what color will it be? pink. what will they put on it? No plastic babies, right? no clowns, right?

4. Baby Shower Mafia Members do not like to play tacky baby shower games like the one where you put the candy bar in the diaper and try to guess what kind it is. (I'm really good at this game) They also frown upon those who pull out a big ol' roll of Charmin to measure someone's pregnant girth...again, it's in the handbook.

5. Baby Shower Mafia Members do not believe in evites. There will be a paper invitation in your mailbox. They will most likely frown upon the passing around the thank you note envelope thing and writing your address on it for the honoree...I'm just sayin'.

Now I will offer up a couple terms that the Baby Shower Mafia Members speak of whenever they are gettin' their shower on....

Sip 'n' See: Apparently, a Sip 'n' See is kind of a post-facto baby shower where folks come over to "sip" some punch and "see" the new baby.

Petit four (plural: petits fours) is a small cake generally eaten at the end of a meal or served as part of a large buffet. The name is from the French petit four, meaning "small oven".

Chances are if you are not familiar with said terms & rules, you, most likely, are not a member of the Baby Shower Mafia. So are you a member or not a member?

And guess where I'll be this Friday night....a baby shower!

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9 comments:

Pamela Johnson said...

oh, I love baby showers. can I be a BSMM? oh, but wait, I was one of "those" who had yellow and green, does that count against my application??

Me said...

I'm totally in, but I had to be trained by the best. And, I typically have to borrow the fine china and silver. However, I am the BSMM Boss when it comes to what dishes to serve...just ask around.

Sumer said...

You have to back off the evite thing, because even Boss Checkers says they are a good idea! But I think her husband has to do it for her, you know she's not so good with the computer.

And yes, Boss HH can plan a menu. With or without the chicken salad and butter mints!

Nicole @ Four Real said...

I will have to say I am not a part of this group. It sounds wonderful but dont ever expect nice silver or china when you come to my house, even a baby shower. I go for the matching cute paper themed plates at Party City. That is the kind of shower's I had and I am ok with it. :)

Anonymous said...

This baby shower boss retains her title because of the ratio of baby showers thrown to the actual children I have birthed. I know this has got to be a jewel in my crown some day. I've thrown a lot of baby showers - I'm just sayin! And the evite thing was taken a bit out of context. It is appropriate in certain situations and it is the only way people RSVP so I might start doing it for all my affairs.
Checkers

CEU said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CEU said...

Good grief. I shoulda read this before I sent out the evite.

Erin said...

Let's just say I'm glad it's me who's on the receiving end this time. Being a BSMM is a lot of pressure! I've been lucky to host with some of the best in years past. But you do have to distinguish between 1st baby and babies thereafter. I think an evite is a no-no for the 1st big shabang. After that, it's appropriate to scale it down on all fronts. I think I just gave myself away as a NON-member...

Melissa Lee said...

Thank you Lord for reminding me that I had Erin's Baby shower this weekend.