Tuesday, January 08, 2013

10,000 Reasons

I never knew or understood anything about grief until this past year.  What I’ve learned is that it’s a singular process.  No one can walk through it for you, no one can make it go away, and no one can really get out of it.  I tell myself that it’s fading and time heals all wounds, but then it pops back up in the most intense and unexpected ways. 

I feel like every year God gives me a song that speaks to my heart every time I hear it.  In 2010 it was “Oh How He Loves Us” by the David Crowder Band, in 2011 it was “Thanks Be to Our God” by Travis Cottrell, and the song for 2012 was “10,000 Reasons” by Matt Redmond.

And it’s this line that has captured my heart for almost an entire year…

Those words…for all Your goodness.  That God is still good even when I’m frustrated over all the crazy and ungodly people He leaves on this earth.  Yes, this is the conversation I’ve been having with God over the last month.  Why does He take the good people that make handmade cards for missionaries and faithfully serve Him through thick and thin?  I’m still talking to Him about this, and I can think of at least 100 reasons to tell Him every day that it isn’t fair that my Mom died.  We go through this at least once a month when my sadness crosses the line of grief and turns into what some might refer to as hormonal issues. And He listens to it…I’m thankful.  And you should be thankful that He listens to it too or there would be way more blog posts about death and dying. 

All in all, when I look back on 2012, I will always think of my Mom and the sadness of losing her.  But in the deepest part of my heart I know that for every reason I find to be sad about…they never amount to the 10,000 reasons I have to sing of His goodness.

1 comment:

Teresa said...

I love your heart and I'm thankful that you're sharing it here again. And I had to laugh since I know He's been having that same conversation with me for the past few years. He's probably wishing we'd both be quiet. :) His goodness is boundless and your testimony is proof of that.