Confessions of a Lost and Found Shopper

I sometimes find myself shopping in the rarest of places...

The lost and found box at church. Yes, I know it's tacky to admit such a thing, but I find good stuff. And that good stuff is free if no one comes to the box and claims it after 30 days.

But this kind of shopping can also get quite awkward...

Like when someone compliments the item you're wearing and you wonder if they used to own it?

or

Someone comes up to you and says, "I lost a pair of sunglasses, you haven't seen them have you?" and you're wearing them on your head...awkward.

or

Someone says to you, "My sister has a pair of sunglasses like that." And then you have to awkwardly admit that they might be your sister's sunglasses because you got them out of the lost and found.

But it's a chance I'm willing to take. I sported a great scarf all last winter and received many compliments. Yes, I just don't just take the sunglasses. I'm not too good to wash and wear your accessories to spruce up last year's sweater dress.

A recent sunglass acquisition was a pair of Ann Taylor Loft sunglasses that were left on the kitchen counter at church. They had been sitting there for a good while, and I had asked several people about them and no one claimed them. They were great sunglasses.

And then one day someone asked about the location of some Ann Taylor Loft sunglasses...

The downside of this type of shopping is sometimes the glasses belong to your friends and the right thing to do is to give them back.

The Office: Inter-Office Memo

Way back in thee olden days I used to work in a corporate office, and we had what was called an inter-office memorandum. Hold still if you're under 30 because this is going to rock your world...we didn't have email! We had a handy-dandy manila envelope that had a note inside and lines on the outside of it and you would sign it when you read the material. This would let the originator of said memo know that you had read the material and it was now your responsibility to pass it to the next person. It was like tag and it required us to get up out of our cushy office chairs. The great thing about the inter-office memo was that no one could reply all. You couldn't reply anything. You had to keep your snarky comments to yourself.

I now work in the technical world of email and countless reply all emails. We can put just about anything out there on the "all staff" email for everyone to read. We get many announcements and requests in the "all staff" email box. Here is my most recent favorite "all staff" email from the local senior pastor...

Subject: SUV

Hey gang,
I am looking for a full size suv. Most likely a chevy or gmc. 4 wheel drive. Something along the line of suburban or tahoe. I would love the quad seating (buckets in the middle row). Preferably one in mint condition driven only to church and Kroger by a little ole lady. Somewhere in the year model 2004 to 2006 or a really really clean 03. Under a 100k miles. If you see one for sale on the side of the road in front of the nursing home or something please let me know. Thanks.
pt

So if you just so happen to find out about a Tahoe or Suburban driven by a little ole lady (because all the grannies are driving Tahoes these days) or see one sitting in front of the nursing home (because I'm sure the nursing homes allow their patients to pull up their old Suburban and put a for sale sign on it out in the parking lot.) let me know and I'll send out an "all staff" email.

Twin Day

Please know that we don't do this on purpose. It just happens. Often.

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball

So last Saturday, I participated in a youth dodgeball tournament.  Our church staff formed a team and of course, every team needs a girl who is willing to let rubber playground balls be thrown at her by a bunch of teenage boys at warp speed...

This is when you start humming the tune...

I'm Every Woman by Whitney Houston.

and yes, you're supposed to look like this when you play dodgeball. 

We call ourselves the

Staff Infection

(you could also call us the biggest winner of the day, I'm just sayin')

We're infected with just a slight case of the competitiveness.

(And yes, we are missing our fearless leader.  He showed up for practice on Friday but had trouble keeping up with the big boys, so he was a no-show slacker on Saturday.  Did I just type all that out loud?)

 

This is what we call an action shot.

When Nike sees my awesome athletic skillz, I'm sure they will be calling me to take over Tiger Woods endorsement deal.  I'm sure you would agree.

After we whooped a bunch of teenagers, we started knocking off all the adult teams.

These are the Tree Huggers, our biggest rival of the day.

You would also call them the biggest losers!

So, how did I do it?  Well, I watched a how to play dodgeball video on youtube because you can learn to do almost anything on the internet, and then I just dodged the ball.  A lot. 

Baby ON Board!

Over the last year one of the most overheard expressions at my church has been...

Don't drink the water!

I would also like to point out that you hear that a lot when you are preparing for a mission trip.  I've got it, and I'm not drinking the water.

Anyhoo, we've been saying this at TSC for many years but this past year has given new meaning to the expression.  We have had over 30 babies born in 2009.  I realize that most churches would be frightened by this number, but I say the more the merrier.  I also know that it provides great job security in these tough economic times...I'm just sayin'. 

So it was just 3 weeks ago that I found out that we were getting one more...

Meet Baby Hollie!

This time it's my assistant Awesome Amber and her husband, Bryan.

 Congrats! 

P.S.Amber-I'm gonna run to Target right now and buy one of those baby wearing slings because we're gonna need it come June;)

You can email your congrats here.

The Princess and The Peep

It was Halloween 2009 and the Lil'Nanny and I set out to find the perfect costumes. 

Meet the Candy Corn Princess & the Peep

Please note:  I'm not expecting. I stuffed that costume with a pillow to get the full effect.

Look it's my Africa Peeps.  Don't you just think of Africa when you see our faces:)

We got to host concessions at the Fall Festival to raise money for our Africa mission trip.

We convinced some people to be slave laborers volunteers.

We all know that when you work with volunteers, you sometimes run into some issues.

I'm sure this is not breaking any health regulations.

I ran into a Thing 2 and another one of my Peeps in the hallway.

VBS: Worth a thousand words

They say a picture is worth a thousand words and as I was going through my VBS pics, I couldn't help but add my own captions to a few that I thought were interesting...

Good morning and welcome to Big Nanny's Boot Camp. And all these people thought they were coming to Vacation Bible School.

Share? Nah, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

Do these people not know that I'm the senior pastor?

Why do they make me wear this everyday?



I know that I'm in here to tell the Bible story, but please raise your hand if you have a question about Algebra.



I don't care what my Daddy says...
I'm going to Texas, and I will be a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader.

When your mom looks at this, just smile and act like you did it.

VBS, Day 1: How PT got his groove back

Some people have moments when God speaks to them while their driving down the road.

Some people have moments when God speaks to them in a dream.

Some people have moments when God speaks to them through a sermon.

Some people have moments when God speaks to them through a friend.

Some people have moments when God speaks to them through a song.

And some people have moments when God speaks to them while their wearing a furry chipmunk costume. So glad you’re back!

Breaking News Rocks Local Church

Big news for all of my TSC readers...

This is the kind of church news that people will be talking about for years to come. The kind of news that causes the parishioners to get on the phone and talk. And TSC is just like any good southern baptist church...news travels fast. Why, it was just yesterday afternoon that I received this blog tip via an email from an "unknown" source.

The email subject line stated these very words: "Girl, I've got something for you to blog about!"

I think the "unknown" source knew that things have been a little slow around here and that I needed this tip. It's just like when those National Enquirer paparazzi people get a phone call tip saying where Brangelina is...JOURNALISM GOLD! I immediately sent a text to the "subject" to confirm the report and to tell "subject" that I would be posting a blog about this news.

Because inquiring minds will want to know and those same inquiring minds will need time to process this before Sunday. You can't just let this all out on a Sunday morning without any warning! People would not be able to focus on the sermon if I didn't get this out now.

I can't wait to hear what you think.

Meet your "hip", "trendy", "Chipped out" Pastor!

I heard he even bought some product.